Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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