He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
