I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize