Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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