I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
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Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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