he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
