is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
