is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
