The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm too high and old for this...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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