Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
