Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize