3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize