i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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