those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
