It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
