Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
