david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
