I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
