Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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