And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
