It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
