I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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