I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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