I bet he comes in French.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
