proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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