Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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