hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
