Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
God, I missed his penis.
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