Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
