just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
