You're completely useless in the revolution.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
