You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
where are my eyebrows?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
