You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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