nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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