you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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