Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
