Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
