and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
