I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
