My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
