An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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