seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
