come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
being pregnant is like rehab
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
