it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
