Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
