I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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