He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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