Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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