I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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