Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
