Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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