Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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