eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Hippo gnu deer
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
me + whiskey = a bad person
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
