Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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