You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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