Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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