Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
