Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
