Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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