Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
