I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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