Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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