Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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